How to figure out what you actually want to do next

If someone asked what you want to do next and your most honest answer is "I have no idea," you are in good company. Most of the people I work with started right there.

Here is the part nobody warns you about. We ask people to choose a direction at eighteen, then act like that choice should hold for the next forty years. When it stops fitting, and it often does after a layoff, a burnout, a move, or a kid leaving home, most of us blame ourselves instead of the situation. I would rather you treat not knowing as useful information. It means something changed and you are paying attention.

Start with clues, not answers

Trying to name your dream job in one sitting is what keeps most people stuck. You do not need the whole answer yet. You need clues, and clues are far easier to collect than certainty.

For the next week, keep a note on your phone and jot things down as they come up:

• What did you lose track of time doing? And what wore you out even when it was supposed to be easy?
• Whose job do you feel a little jealous of? That flash of envy usually points at something you want and have not admitted yet.
• What do you read about or talk about when nobody is paying you to?
• When did work last feel good, and what was actually true about that stretch of time?

None of these ask you to commit to anything. They just help you notice patterns you have probably been walking right past.

Untangle the three questions hiding inside "what should I do?"

When someone tells me they do not know what they want, they are usually asking three different questions at once. Pulling them apart makes each one much easier to answer.

1. What am I good at? Your real strengths, including the ones you have stopped noticing because they come easily to you.
2. What matters to me? The things a job has to give you before it feels right, like autonomy, stability, creativity, helping people, or room for your family.
3. What fits how I am wired? Your personality and temperament, not just what you can grind through on willpower.

That last one gets skipped the most, and it is the one I pay the closest attention to. I spent 25 years teaching personality assessment, and I lost count of the smart, capable people I met who were quietly miserable in careers that just did not suit them. When they finally found work that fit, the change in them was hard to miss.

Test the water before you jump

You do not have to quit on Monday to explore something. Big leaps feel terrifying because they are big, so make them smaller.

• Talk to three people who already do the thing you are curious about. Ask what a normal Tuesday looks like, not just the highlight reel.
• Try a small version of it. A class, a volunteer shift, a weekend project, one freelance gig. Then notice how it actually felt, not how you hoped it would feel.
• Pay attention to your gut. Curiosity and relief are good signs. A heavy dread that has nothing to do with normal nerves is worth listening to as well.

A few small experiments will teach you more than months of turning it over in your head.

When it helps to have someone in your corner

You can do plenty of this on your own. But if you have been circling the same questions for months, or fear keeps talking you out of every option, or you just want a clear process and someone to think it through with, that is what a coach is for. I bring the structure and the outside perspective, and I hold you to the plan so the not-knowing turns into real next steps.

I work with people around Charleston and Mount Pleasant, and online with folks all over the country, who came to me feeling stuck and left with a direction they believed in. If that sounds like where you are right now, I would love to talk.